A few years ago, the term 'bridezilla' was coined...you know who we mean. The Type-A bride who makes her bridesmaids go on mandatory diets, has crazy-high expectations from her vendors, and stresses out everyone who is involved in her wedding. Over the past two years, however, we have seen the emergence of a different type of bride. A 'bridechilla' if you will. This bride does not want to be labeled a bridezilla, therefore they take a completely hands-off approach to wedding planning. This bride says things like, "I don't care what you wear to my wedding, just find something you like", and, "I just want everyone to be happy and enjoy themselves."
While this laid back attitude seems great, being 'too chill' can still stress out wedding vendors and the bridal party. Bridechillas are hesitant to make a decision, for fear of upsetting someone or causing what they perceive as conflict.
Bridesmaids are often left confused, not knowing what kind of dress to pick out, not knowing what type of bridal shower to throw, or what type of bachelorette party to plan. When no one steps up as the leader, the group has to collaborate amongst themselves, and hope the bride likes the final decision.
When the bride does not have a vision for her wedding day, and everything is a possibility, friends and family are left making major decisions.
Bridechilla's often want their wedding to have a laid back atmosphere and typically opt for barn weddings, backyard weddings, or an outdoor venue instead of a ballroom or county club. Lauren Schmitz, wedding planner and owner of Table 1 Events says, "It takes just as much effort to plan a laid back wedding as it does to plan an upscale wedding. Decisions still need to be made, and vendors still need to be booked."
On a deeper note, the emergence of the bridechilla may have something to do with the new generation of Millenials. Millenials typically involve their parents when making a decision. Millenials have looked to their parents for guidance on selecting a college, what they should major in, where they should move, what kind of job they should have. It's only natural for a Millenial to look to their parents for wedding planning advice.
Rachel Miller of Loverly says: "While there is nothing wrong with wanting to distance yourself from the bridezilla stereotype and be as nice and flexible as you can during wedding planning, but there’s something about the bridechilla that feels like the latest version of the “cool girl.” She’s not like the other brides; she’s smarter, nicer, less shallow...better. But the irony is that she isn’t necessarily easier to be friends with during wedding planning. Of course, valuing the bridesmaids’ time, budgets, and friendship and expressing your appreciation is absolutely crucial. But refusing to make choices out of fear actually does the opposite of that. Instead of making life easier, the bridechilla wastes their time and causes them more stress than if she’d just chosen what color shoes she likes best in the first place."
If you find yourself dealing with a bridechilla, be prepared to do some unexpected wedding planning on your own. Urge the bride to tell you three things she wants regarding a piece of her wedding. For example, if you are a bridesmaid, have the bride tell you three things she wants to see in her bridesmaid dresses: 1. color, 2. material, 3. length. By putting this on her, she will at least tell you what she doesn't like.
If you are a bridechilla, understand that your friends, family, and wedding vendors need to be communicated to about what you do, and do not want. Wedding vendors are not mind readers. If it's hard to communicate your vision, show them pictures of other weddings that you like. Create a Pinterest board to share with everyone who is involved in your wedding, and regularly add pictures of what appeals to you. It's okay to have an opinion when it comes to your wedding day.